Thread: Jokes

Originally Posted by carlschmid2002

Me to.

deleted as swearing in pic

There wasn't any swearing in the pic. This is getting ridiculous.

Allow me to paraphrase from memory:

A funeral service for a parking inspector is taking place.
The crowd stands by watching the coffin lower into the earth when suddenly a banging is heard from within the coffin "let me out!" the parking inspector cries.
The priest sneers back thru his teeth "I can't. I've already done the flamin'* paperwork!"


*To personalise your delivery, replace 'flamin' with an expletive of your choosing.

Originally Posted by carlschmid2002

There wasn't any swearing in the pic. This is getting ridiculous.

IMO there was. If you send me the pic in a PM, I am happy to have another look. If OK, I will put it back with my apologies. Fair enough ??

Originally Posted by pop058

IMO there was. If you send me the pic in a PM, I am happy to have another look. If OK, I will put it back with my apologies. Fair enough ??

...

An old farmer wanted a loan for $500. He approached his local banker. “What have you got for collateral?” queried the banker, going strictly by the book.
“Don’t know what collateral means.”
“Well that’s something of value that would cover the cost of the loan. Have you got any vehicles?”
“Yes, I have a 1979 pickup.”
The banker shook his head, “How about livestock?”
“Yes, I have a horse.”
“How old is it?”
“I don’t know; it has no teeth.”
Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan. Several weeks later the man was back in the bank. He pulled out a roll of bills, “Here’s the money to pay loan,” he said, handing the entire amount including interest.
“What are you going to do with the rest of that money?”
“Put it in my pocket.”
“Why don’t you deposit it in my bank?” he asked.
“I don’t know what deposit means.”
“Well, you put the money in our bank and we take care of it for you. When you want to use it you can withdraw it.”
The man leaned across the desk, looking suspiciously at the banker, and asked, “What you got for collateral?”

Originally Posted by 67hardtop

What do u call a dog without legs?

Doesn't matter. He's not comming anyway.

Cheers Rod

It would be a bit of a drag.

A man was shot in an alley with a starter's pistol.
Police believe it's race related.

Hmmmmm. Stopped by a Starter.