Jokes

**Fifth Columnist** · 15th August 2018, 07:07 PM

and another 'Spikeism'.....

'Conraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.'

**Fifth Columnist** · 18th August 2018, 09:04 AM

My wife's cat died so I bought her an identical one. She was furious! "what am I going to do with two dead cats?" she said.

**RANDLOVER** · 18th August 2018, 08:01 PM

My car over heated, I think it was because the buckle on the fan belt came undone.

**Homestar** · 18th August 2018, 08:32 PM

The English soccer team just visited an Orphanage in Brazil today.

"It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope" said Jose, age 6.

**Homestar** · 18th August 2018, 08:34 PM

I love how music can take you to another place. Just this morning my local Cafe was playing Taylor Swift - so I went to a different Cafe.

**RANDLOVER** · 18th August 2018, 08:35 PM

When Oprah heard that the soccer team stuck in the Thai cave, hadn't eaten for nine days, she is rumoured to have said "Such willpower".

**Homestar** · 18th August 2018, 08:36 PM

I was raised as an only child - my Brothers took that pretty hard...

**Homestar** · 18th August 2018, 08:40 PM

"Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I'd been invited to an Autopsy.

**Homestar** · 18th August 2018, 08:42 PM

I'm actually pretty good in bed - I rarely fall out of it any more...

**Homestar** · 18th August 2018, 08:47 PM

Telling a Child that everyone dies is the hardest thing about being a party clown.

Thread: Jokes