Jokes

[Bigbjorn]

As an aside or short around the ears. What does one pay for a Gentleman's haircut these days? Is it a 2nd Mortgage thing?


NOT A JOKE btw. I haven't been to a Barber for yonks since the time they had Craven A posters on the walls & the olde mantle radio tuned, nay rusted, onto the Racing Radio Stations & blowflies on the mirror.
[biggrin]
I'm just curious, as 'err indoors now gives me a regular skim over the top with a #1 & I wondered what I was missing.

No Brylcreem either.:Rolling:

$20 for pensioners at mine.

The barber in Merthyr Road New Farm when I was young feller was known as "Two Minute Bill." He had two styles, short back and sides and crew cut. He cut hair, sold cigarettes and tobacco and took bets. As 4bee says, Craven A posters on the wall and the races on the radio.

[DiscoMick]

Do you get a beer with your haircut?

[Saitch]

Do you get a beer with your haircut?

Can do where I go.

[4bee]

Do you get a beer with your haircut?


If I play my cards right & butter the barber up I have, on occasions got better than a beer.:Thump::Rolling::Rolling:



The barber in Merthyr Road New Farm when I was young feller was known as "Two Minute Bill." He had two styles, short back and sides and crew cut. He cut hair, sold cigarettes and tobacco and took bets. As 4bee says, Craven A posters on the wall and the races on the radio.

Wot all that while he was cutting your hair.? Must have got a bit confusing.[biggrin]

[Eevo]

I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a hot cross bun at the Easter fair today.
He looked at me and said, " have to love Easter, baby".

[DiscoMick]

If I play my cards right & butter the barber up I have, on occasions got better than a beer.:Thump::Rolling::Rolling:




Wot all that while he was cutting your hair.? Must have got a bit confusing.[biggrin]Think the barber is also the wife.

[4bee]

[biggrin] You may never know, Mick.[smilebigeye]

[p38arover]

I haven't paid for a haircut in nearly 50 years. The Wahl hair clippers have certainly paid for themselves as had the Philips clippers before them.

[Eevo]

I haven't paid for a haircut in nearly 50 years. .

yeah we can tell [bigwhistle]

[donh54]

As an aside or short around the ears. What does one pay for a Gentleman's haircut these days? Is it a 2nd Mortgage thing?


NOT A JOKE btw. I haven't been to a Barber for yonks since the time they had Craven A posters on the walls & the olde mantle radio tuned, nay rusted, onto the Racing Radio Stations & blowflies on the mirror.
[biggrin]
I'm just curious, as 'err indoors now gives me a regular skim over the top with a #1 & I wondered what I was missing.

No Brylcreem either.:Rolling:

No. 2 on the head, and 5 on the beard = $28
That includes a cut-throat razor shave around the neck area, hot towel rub and great atmosphere.
If you go in on a Friday, you get a free beer, too!
Oh, and it's an all female crew, as well!

[DiscoMick]

Our 2 year old granddaughter just came out with a soft toy stuffed up her jumper and announced she had a baby girl named Fred. Gotta love kids. [emoji16]

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190419/a6c3886e9e500dc30d380d82e0cc3e5d.jpg

[DiscoMick]

Then she told us to be quiet because Fed was sleeping.

[4bee]

That probably explains Meghan Markle's situation. Meghan who?[smilebigeye]

[DiscoMick]

A couple are walking down the street when the bloke's arm falls off. The wife says, "You don't drink enough water."

[4bee]

No. 2 on the head, and 5 on the beard = $28
That includes a cut-throat razor shave around the neck area, hot towel rub and great atmosphere.
If you go in on a Friday, you get a free beer, too!
Oh, and it's an all female crew, as well!



I suppose that sounds like a good deal, provided said female staff don't partake of said beer prior to said staff using the said cut-throat around your said neck, Sweeney Todd stylee.

"OOPS, here is another one to bung down in the cellar, Michelle. How many is that today, 6 ?". [smilebigeye]

[Eevo]

I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.....

[DiscoMick]

Did you hear about the bloke who complained his wife could hear him drop a crumb in the kitchen from 50 metres away, but her car looked like a Starbucks had exploded in it?

[Eevo]

I was at Coles this afternoon, and saw some bloke and a woman wrapped in a barcode.
I said, " are you two an item?".

[Eevo]

The inventor of Morse code sadly passed away yesterday.
Dashes to dashes, dots to dots.

[Eevo]

replace bill with any other MP

A man died and went to Heaven.
As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, 'What are all those clocks?' St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone who has ever been on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move.' 'Oh', said the man.
'Whose clock is that?' 'That's Mother Teresa's', replied St. Peter. 'The hands have never moved, Indicating that she never told a lie.'
'Incredible', said the man. 'And whose clock is that one?' St. Peter responded, 'That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved Twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life.'
'Where's Bill Shorten's clock?' asked the man.
St Peter replied, 'Jesus has it in his office. He uses it as a ceiling fan.'

[scottc]

replace bill with any other MP

A man died and went to Heaven.
As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, 'What are all those clocks?' St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone who has ever been on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move.' 'Oh', said the man.
'Whose clock is that?' 'That's Mother Teresa's', replied St. Peter. 'The hands have never moved, Indicating that she never told a lie.'
'Incredible', said the man. 'And whose clock is that one?' St. Peter responded, 'That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved Twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life.'
'Where's Bill Shorten's clock?' asked the man.
St Peter replied, 'Jesus has it in his office. He uses it as a ceiling fan.'Donald Trumps clock is on the heavenly helicopter. ..

[Eevo]

I'm trying to write a book about dump sites in Australia.
Has anyone got any tips?

[bob10]

At the this week's meeting of British Medical Professionals, there was a furious debate as to whether the BMP should pass a motion supporting Brexit. The allergists were in favour of scratching it, but the dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought May had a lot of nerve. Meanwhile, obstetricians felt certain everyone was labouring under a misconception, while the ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. A pathologist yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the paediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!" The psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the radiologists could see right through it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing while the plastic surgeons opined that this proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter." Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no, in the end, the proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the parliamentary ... well, never mind.

[Eevo]

I think my wife might be secretly dealing drugs.
There was a suspicious phone call this morning which I answered.
A male voice asked, "has that dope gone yet?".

[350RRC]

I opened a window and influenza.

DL

[gofish]

When my wife left, I was sad, upset & lonely. Since then I've got a dog, bought a new motorbike, shagged 2 women & blown a grand on drugs & drink. She'll go bloody mental when she gets home from work.

[4bee]

:Rolling::Rolling:

Not bad for a morning's work Go.

BTW. Have you got the contact details for the 2 Shagees?

What sort of dog is it?[smilebigeye]

[gofish]

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is 2 hearts & a diamond. By the end you wish you had a club & a spade [bigwhistle]

[4bee]

AHhhhhhhhhh NOOOOOOooooooooo! Not another Eevo Mk2?[biggrin]

[sashadidi]

The cops just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes.

Honestly, I'm kind of surprised. I certainly didn't teach them this, and my dogs don't even OWN bikes.

[bob10]

A german joke.


Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Paris airport."Nationality?" asks the immigration officer."German," she replies."Occupation?""No, just here for a few days

[Eevo]

I love jokes about eyes.
The cornea the better.

[Eevo]

I think my dentist is having a bit of a bad time of it.
He always looks down in the mouth.

[4bee]

I love jokes about eyes.
The cornea the better.

Eevo, you must have been a good pupil of some joke teller & I bet that raised some eyebrows.[smilebigeye]


Now, can you put a lid on it?[biggrin]

[pop058]

Eevo, you must have been a good pupil of some joke teller & I bet that raised some eyebrows.[smilebigeye]


Now, can you put a lid on it?[biggrin]

no way, keep em' comin' [thumbsupbig]

[Saitch]

I got a suit from a budget tailor, recently.

The quality was sew sew.

[Pedro_The_Swift]

matches the joke.. [tonguewink]

[Saitch]

I was thinking about organising things for next year but couldn't do it.

Made me realise I don't have 2020 vision.

[4bee]

Saitch, are you Eevo's 2IC? He apparently goes off to Lake Eyre & you make with the funnies.:Rolling:

I trust he has got you on a good earner.

[pop058]

Saitch, are you Eevo's 2IC? He apparently goes off to Lake Eyre & you make with the funnies.:Rolling:

I trust he has got you on a good earner.

Might be a "Clark Kent" type of thing ??[bigwhistle] Has anyone seen them together ??

[V8Ian]

Saitch, are you Eevo's 2IC? He apparently goes off to Lake Eyre & you make with the funnies.:Rolling:

I trust he has got you on a good earner.
You use the term very loosly.[bighmmm]

[4bee]

I have to give him his dues 58i but don't tell him, but most are very funny, but buggered if I know where he gets them. LSD, ICE, new instant coffee, browsing at a News agent's display ???[smilebigeye]


Voice from Lake Eyre. "I am here you know?"



Might be a "Clark Kent" type of thing ??[bigwhistle] Has anyone seen them together ??

What the two of them getting undressed in a red telephone box? I'd like to see that.[smilebigeye]

[Eevo]

I have a chicken proof lawn.
It's impeccable.

[Eevo]

I woke up this morning to find that someone had dumped a pile of Lego at my front door.
I don't know what to make of it.

[DiscoMick]

Did you hear about the chicken which recited poetry while crossing the road?
It was (wait for it)


poultry in motion!

[Eevo]

LAUNDRY:


Washing - 30 minutes
Drying - 60 minutes
Putting away - 7 to 10 business days

[biggin]

Funeral Celebrant asks, would anyone like to say a word. Man stands up and says, 'discount'. Celebrant says 'thankyou, that means a great deal'.

[Eevo]

We call my 89 year old father "Spiderman".
Not because of his super powers, but because he can't get out of the bath.

[Eevo]

Just stole a rabbit.
I'm going to have to make a run for it.

[67hardtop]

Just stole a rabbit.
I'm going to have to make a run for it.Long as ur name aint warren

[RANDLOVER]

I missed going to the gym again this morning, that ten years in a row now.

[sashadidi]

150636

[4bee]

You've given me an idea.

I will send that to my youngest brother & replace some of the words with Golf Course references. He might laugh but his missus won't.[biggrin]

[Eevo]

Just found out my brother is a mime artist.
He kept that very quiet.

[gofish]

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[gofish]

https://s3-ap-southeast-2.amazonaws.com/fishraider-ips-assets/monthly_09_2016/post-31230-0-48431200-1474876812.jpg

[Eevo]

I attended the last Olympic games, and noticed an athlete carrying a long stick, so I said "are you a pole vaulter?".
He replied, "no, I'm German, but how did you know my name is Walter?

[sashadidi]

150686

[Saitch]

When I was younger I was told, because of my Dyslexia, that I would never be any good at poetry.
Now that I'm older, it appears I have grown out of it as, if given the right clay, I can turn out quite a nice pot or vase.

[Saitch]

I'm thinking of changing my text font.
I'm leaning toward Italic.

[V8Ian]

When I was younger I was told, because of my Dyslexia, that I would never be any good at poetry.
Now that I'm older, it appears I have grown out of it as, if given the right clay, I can turn out quite a nice pot or vase.
What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexic Association.

[Blknight.aus]

What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexic Association.

groan....

thats as bad as

I have CDO...

ITs like Obsessive compulsive disorder but the letters are in order AS THEY SHOULD BE.....

[DiscoMick]

Borrowed. https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190508/383b36bd9001183d512eaebcdf3b737a.jpg

[DiscoMick]

Four bananas and Batman sat on a wall.
Nana, Nana, Nana, Nana Batman!

[67hardtop]

If I had a Delorian, I'd only drive it from time to time.

[Eevo]

If I had a Delorian, I'd only drive it from time to time.

i was going to tell you a time travel joke, but you didnt like it.

[67hardtop]

i was going to tell you a time travel joke, but you didnt like it.Hahahaha

[Eevo]

I told my doctor I have a problem with my left ear.
"Are you sure?", he asked.
I said, "yes, I'm definite".

[Eevo]

When I lost the fingers on my right hand in a work accident, I asked my doctor it I'd still be able to write with it.
He said probably, but I couldn't count on it.

[4bee]

When I lost the fingers on my right hand in a work accident, I asked my doctor it I'd still be able to write with it.



I thought you were going to say something like "Oh that's great Doc, because I couldn't before".

Weeeeeeelllll, some idiot had to say it & one did.[bigsad]




[wink11]

[Bigbjorn]

The most common lies told by our cousins from Biddleonia across the Tasman.

My mother was a Polynesian princess.

I trialled with the All Blacks.

I have never applied for the dole in Australia.

I was only helping that sheep through the fence.[bigwhistle]

[Eevo]

My girlfriend works at the zoo.
I think she's a keeper.

[POD]

If it's old jokes you like, here's one from the Soviet era:

Ivan, a Muscovite and Communist Party member, finally succumbs to the pleading of his wife Natasha that he should buy them a car. He puts together all the roubles they have been able to save and approaches the grey government building, where he joins a long queue that extends two blocks down the snow-covered street. Frozen to the bone, he is eventually admitted to a windowless office where, over the course of seven hours, he is subjected to lengthy background checks, is interviewed by three different political staffers and fills in a wad of application forms. At the end of this ordeal, Ivan is marched to the cashiers window where he hands over the satchel containing his and Natasha's savings. The clerk then tells him 'Very good Comrade, you have met all the requirements to be issued with a private vehicle. Come back at precisely nine-thirty a.m on this date in ten years and you may collect your car'.

Ivan turns pale. 'Nine-thirty a.m ten years from now??' he says, incredulously. 'Nine-thirty a.m. ten years from now!? Comrade, I cannot accept this!' says Ivan, shaking his head.

'Cannot accept this?' asks the clerk, glancing toward the two soldiers who flank the door. 'What do you mean, comrade, when you say you cannot accept this?'

'I cannot accept this, Comrade!' says Ivan, 'The plumber is coming at nine thirty.'

[4bee]

I thought Ivan was going to say summat like,"I won't even be able to afford a watch either in 10 years".[biggrin]




I was only helping that sheep through the fence.[bigwhistle] :Rolling: :Rolling:

[4bee]

What does DNA stand for?
What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexic Association. .

or What does DNA stand for?
National Dylsexic Association. [smilebigeye]

[sashadidi]

The most common lies told by our cousins from Biddleonia across the Tasman.

My mother was a Polynesian princess.

I trialled with the All Blacks.

I have never applied for the dole in Australia.

I was only helping that sheep through the fence.[bigwhistle]

A British man is visiting Australia. The customs agent asks him, “Do you have a criminal record?” The British man replies, “I didn’t think you needed one to get into Australia anymore


An Aussie said, “Take away your snow capped mountains, culture, and good food, and what would New Zealand be?”
The kiwi answered, “Australia

[sashadidi]

I like the russian black humour as I hear it a lot

one of the better ones,
Stalin attends the premiere of a Soviet comedy movie. He laughs and grins throughout the film, but after it ends he says, "Well, I liked the comedy. But that clown had a moustache just like mine. Shoot him." Everyone is speechless, until someone sheepishly suggests, "Comrade Stalin, maybe the actor shaves off his moustache?" Stalin replies, "Good idea! First shave, then shoot!"

[DiscoMick]

Embarrassing. https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190513/6aac73943385c505e968d7f4797baf7e.jpg

[carjunkieanon]

If it's old jokes you like, here's one from the Soviet era:

Ivan, a Muscovite and Communist Party member, finally succumbs to the pleading of his wife Natasha that he should buy them a car. He puts together all the roubles they have been able to save and approaches the grey government building, where he joins a long queue that extends two blocks down the snow-covered street. Frozen to the bone, he is eventually admitted to a windowless office where, over the course of seven hours, he is subjected to lengthy background checks, is interviewed by three different political staffers and fills in a wad of application forms. At the end of this ordeal, Ivan is marched to the cashiers window where he hands over the satchel containing his and Natasha's savings. The clerk then tells him 'Very good Comrade, you have met all the requirements to be issued with a private vehicle. Come back at precisely nine-thirty a.m on this date in ten years and you may collect your car'.

Ivan turns pale. 'Nine-thirty a.m ten years from now??' he says, incredulously. 'Nine-thirty a.m. ten years from now!? Comrade, I cannot accept this!' says Ivan, shaking his head.

'Cannot accept this?' asks the clerk, glancing toward the two soldiers who flank the door. 'What do you mean, comrade, when you say you cannot accept this?'

'I cannot accept this, Comrade!' says Ivan, 'The plumber is coming at nine thirty.'


President Reagan - YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mN3z3eSVG7A)

[gusthedog]

Embarrassing. https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190513/6aac73943385c505e968d7f4797baf7e.jpgIn reply [emoji6]https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190513/21a9481849073adff38e2ed4e5069c63.jpg

[Eevo]

I saw a beehive today that had no exit.
It was unbelievable.

[4bee]

If it's old jokes you like, here's one from the Soviet era:

Ivan, a Muscovite and Communist Party member, finally succumbs to the pleading of his wife Natasha that he should buy them a car. He puts together all the roubles they have been able to save and approaches the grey government building, where he joins a long queue that extends two blocks down the snow-covered street. Frozen to the bone, he is eventually admitted to a windowless office where, over the course of seven hours, he is subjected to lengthy background checks, is interviewed by three different political staffers and fills in a wad of application forms. At the end of this ordeal, Ivan is marched to the cashiers window where he hands over the satchel containing his and Natasha's savings. The clerk then tells him 'Very good Comrade, you have met all the requirements to be issued with a private vehicle. Come back at precisely nine-thirty a.m on this date in ten years and you may collect your car'.

Ivan turns pale. 'Nine-thirty a.m ten years from now??' he says, incredulously. 'Nine-thirty a.m. ten years from now!? Comrade, I cannot accept this!' says Ivan, shaking his head.

'Cannot accept this?' asks the clerk, glancing toward the two soldiers who flank the door. 'What do you mean, comrade, when you say you cannot accept this?'

'I cannot accept this, Comrade!' says Ivan, 'The plumber is coming at nine thirty.'


Or he may have said, "It is only a ****ty Trabant so stick it up your arse i'll wait for the 2019/20Defender I hear so much about".

Who can say?[smilebigeye]

[V8Ian]

Or he may have said, "It is only a ****ty Trabant so stick it up your arse i'll wait for the 2019/20Defender I hear so much about".

Who can say?[smilebigeye]
Post reported, suggesting it be moved to "It won't be Retro". [bigwhistle]

[4bee]

As it should be.[smilebigeye]

[Eevo]

What should you do if you find three Honda owners buried up to their neck in cement?

Get more cement.

[Eevo]

I was just washing up, with the back door open, when suddenly, an owl flew in
Couldn't believe it!
It dried all the pots and put them away, then flew back out.!
Was amazing!


Think it was a Teat Owl

[ScottyD]

​A pensioner drove his brand new Mercedes to 100 mph on the m1 looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him. He floored it to 140 , then 150, ... then 155, ... Suddenly he thought, "I'm too old for this nonsense !" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.


The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in ten minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend with my family. If you can give me a good reason that I've never heard before, why you were speeding... I'll let you go."


The Man looked very seriously at the police man, and replied :- "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, I thought you were bringing her back." !!!


The Cop left saying, " Have a good day, Sir "...

[Eevo]

A firefighter came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: Bell 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, Bell 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, Bell 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go. From now on when I say Bell 1, I want you to strip naked. When say Bell 2, I want you to jump in bed. And when I say Bell 3, we are going to make love all night."


The next night he came home from work and yelled, "Bell 1!"


The wife promptly took all her clothes off.


When he yelled "Bell 2!", the wife jumped into bed.
When he yelled "Bell 3!", they began making love.


After a few minutes the wife yelled "Bell 4!"


"What the hell is Bell 4?" asked the husband.


The wife said, "Roll out more hose. You're nowhere near the fire."

[Eevo]

Why doesn't a fire captain look out the window in the morning?


Because then he wouldn't have anything to do in the afternoon.

[DiscoMick]

What should you do if you find three Honda owners buried up to their neck in cement?

Get more cement.
I heard that joke with Hilux instead of Honda.

[ramblingboy42]

abcess makes the fart go honda

[Eevo]

I've just ordered a chicken and an egg from ebay....


I'll let you know...

[Eevo]

I called the Tinnitus helpline last night.
The phone just kept ringing.

[NavyDiver]

I used to sneak out of home to go to parties. Now I sneak out of parties to go home [thumbsupbig]

[Toxic_Avenger]

A few days late with this one:


What did the Japanese man do when he had an erection?

He voted.

[Eevo]

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."


The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?", asks the Irishman.


The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.


The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"
The Irishman replies, "Oh...I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first"

[DiscoMick]

Student pickup line.
A boy walks up to a group of girls and asks, "Excuse me, does anyone have directions - to their heart? "
It didn't work. They just laughed at him and turned away.
[emoji16]

[DiscoMick]

"Hey Julia, do you have sunburn? - cause you're hot! "

[4bee]

Student pickup line.
A boy walks up to a group of girls and asks, "Excuse me, does anyone have directions - to their heart? "
It didn't work. They just laughed at him and turned away.
[emoji16]


That sounds like a Ronald Coleman or Walter Pidgeon line to me. [biggrin]

[Disco-tastic]

Student pickup line.
A boy walks up to a group of girls and asks, "Excuse me, does anyone have directions - to their heart? "
It didn't work. They just laughed at him and turned away.
[emoji16]What has 182 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk?




My zipper




It didnt work either.

[4bee]

What has 182 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk?




My zipper




It didnt work either.


You probably need a graphite pencil rubbed along the Zip then. :Rolling:

[Eevo]

An electrician arrived home at 3 AM.
His wife asks:
"Why are you insulate?"
He replied:
"Watt's it to you, I'm ohm, aren't I?"

[4bee]

That is shocking Eevo.[smilebigeye]

[67hardtop]

An electrician arrived home at 3 AM.
His wife asks:
"Why are you insulate?"
He replied:
"Watt's it to you, I'm ohm, aren't I?"He always was a bright spark[emoji12] [emoji12]

[Disco-tastic]

An electrician arrived home at 3 AM.
His wife asks:
"Why are you insulate?"
He replied:
"Watt's it to you, I'm ohm, aren't I?"She didnt put up much resistance after that

[DiscoMick]

There are positives and negatives to this story.

[Disco-tastic]

My dads addicted to buying ladders.

He uses them just to get high

[jx2mad]

Here is one back at Evo.

Did you know that the welders cat had acetylene kittens

[4bee]

Eerrrrr, what's the connection? [smilebigeye]

[gavinwibrow]

Eerrrrr, what's the connection? [smilebigeye]


Do you mean to query "a set of lean kittens", or getting back at Evo's sooo many some good/some meh posts in this section - he must have acquired a book!!!
Thanks Evo!

[4bee]

Or both?[biggrin]

Oh yeah, I also thought we were discussing Eevo's Electrical "humour".


"Connection". Get it? [bighmmm]

[jillr]

Another electrical joke.
After a tiff, the radio technician was going to separate from his gorgeous model girlfriend but was seen later with her hand-in-hand down at the beach. When asked if they'd sorted out their differences, he said "I just didn't have the capacity to resistor".

- Jill

[4bee]

Ohm my cord, now he's done it.[smilebigeye]

[DiscoMick]

Lotta truth in this. https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190525/44d096a408922e03f19854fd9871a416.jpg

[Toxic_Avenger]

Lotta truth in this.

Correction:
"A lot of"

[DiscoMick]

Lotta is recognized slang and better reflects how people actually speak. Also shoulda, woulda, coulda, mighta, havta and numerous others.

[Fifth Columnist]

Fine for people bent on destroying the World's most interesting language. [bawl]

[Homestar]

Lotta is recognized slang and better reflects how people actually speak. Also shoulda, woulda, coulda, mighta, havta and numerous others.

Be that as it may, I would never use language like that either written or verbally. 😇

Then there’s ‘The Ron Clause’ - your pronunciations would seem to fly in the face of the following which is posted in the rules and guidelines...

“The following is not a rule. It is simply a suggestion to make your stay in the forum more enjoyable

This is a forum, we have virtually unlimited capacity to hold letters within a post. There is no reason to use abbreviated TXTspeak here, full stop. You are sitting at full sized keyboard and can probably spell correctly faster on that keyboard than you can spell (TXTspeak) incorrectly on it, assuming you have been to school in the last 10 yrs where keyboard skills are routinely taught.

We can and will cope with minor spelling errors and mis-types, as everyone does it. We would generally prefer that people try as much as they can to use adequate and appropriate punctuation, and that capital letters are used at the start of sentences and for proper nouns for clarity and etiquette.

There are some of us crusty old farts that are definitely two fingered typists, that seem to take more pride in their online presentation, despite being far slower as typists that the young'uns who can blaze off 60-80 words per minute.

Please just try to be clearly legible to everyone."

[4bee]

despite being far slower as typists that the young'uns who can blaze off 60-80 words per minute.




60 -80 wpm? I wish. I'd settle for 6-8. [smilebigeye] 'er indoors can just about melt a keyboard when she tries. Business College type, (are they still called that?[bighmmm]) you see.[bighmmm]

It doesn't matter if we olde worlde farts are slower, the written word will still appear on screen at the same speed & when it is ready to.

[V8Ian]

Fine for people bent on destroying the World's most interesting language. [bawl]
I wonder if Billy Shakespeare posted something similar way back when.[bigwhistle]
I'm not disagreeing with you, Lawrie but our language is very fluid and we tend to believe the version we learned, to be the correct version.

[Eevo]

A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Caesar walked into a bar.
He came, he saw, he conquered.

[Eevo]

Someone told me if you hold a Shell up you can hear the sea.


All I got was 6 years for armed robbery

[Saitch]

We can't have Aspirin here because, the parrots eat 'em all!

[4bee]

Here you go Eevo, Readers Digest thought you may need a backup one day.[smilebigeye]


73 short jokes anyone can remember | Page 2 | Reader's Digest (https://www.readersdigest.com.au/true-stories-lifestyle/humour/73-short-jokes-anyone-can-remember?utm_source=Resp&utm_medium=Emailing&utm_campaign=XREM378&keycode=XREM378&page=1)

[Fifth Columnist]

A man goes into a builder’s yard and orders 20,000 bricks.
"May I ask what you're building?", asks the man behind the counter.
"Yes, it's going to be a barbecue."
“That’s a lot of bricks for one barbie." he says.
The man says, "not really - I live on the 18th floor."

[V8Ian]

Ya bum would certainly be sore, after laying that many bricks.

[4bee]

Not to mention the crushed & bloody fingers.


I reckon he'd be better off getting a barby for his balcony.

Am I missing the point here?:wallbash::Rolling:

[Eevo]

I saw my ex across the museum hall, but I felt it inappropriate to say anything.
There was just too much history between us.

[Fifth Columnist]

Where did Noah keep his bees?

In the Ark Hives

[Eevo]

i dont understand how a cemetery can raise the price of funerals and blame it on the cost of living.

[gofish]

Went to Macca's & the girl serving was wearing a burqa. I noticed it was quite dirty and tattered and a bit smelly. It actually put me off so we walked out and went across the road to Hungry Jack's. Here was another girl wearing a burqa. I was happy to see that it was clean and it actually was nicely decorated with beads and sequins. That's when I realised - the Burqas are Better at Hungry Jack's....

[DiscoMick]

I've been reading a book on gravity - I can't put it down.

[DiscoMick]

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time-consuming.

[Fifth Columnist]

Erotic is using a feather... kinky is using the whole chicken.

[jonesfam]

Erotic is using a feather... kinky is using the whole chicken.

It's only Kinky if the chicken if FROZEN!

[Saitch]

It's only Kinky if the chicken if FROZEN!



I take cold comfort from that!

[4bee]

Weirdo! [smilebigeye]

[spudfan]

A man tees off for a go around his local golf course by himself on a Sunday morning.
Seeing this, St. Peter goes to God.
"God, have you seen what that man is doing on the holy sabbath morning. He is playing golf."
"Yes, I can see that." says God.
"So what are you going to do to punish him God?" says St. Peter.
"Watch this." says God.
The man tees off from the 4th and by divine intervention his ball goes straight into the 4th hole - a "hole in one"..........
"Was that supposed to punish him?" asks St. Peter.
God rubbed his bread and smiled at St. Peter................
"Who is going to believe him?"

[Eevo]

I just bought a new first aid kit.
I thought I'd treat myself.

[350RRC]

A man tees off for a go around his local golf course by himself on a Sunday morning.
Seeing this, St. Peter goes to God.
"God, have you seen what that man is doing on the holy sabbath morning. He is playing golf."
"Yes, I can see that." says God.
"So what are you going to do to punish him God?" says St. Peter.
"Watch this." says God.
The man tees off from the 4th and by divine intervention his ball goes straight into the 4th hole - a "hole in one"..........
"Was that supposed to punish him?" asks St. Peter.
God rubbed his bread and smiled at St. Peter................
"Who is going to believe him?"

Golf ban on Sundays actually happened and there are antique walking sticks that were clubs in disguise so you could still have a 'hit' without raising the ire of the local rev.

DL

[spudfan]

Golf ban on Sundays actually happened and there are antique walking sticks that were clubs in disguise so you could still have a 'hit' without raising the ire of the local rev.

DL

Filed away for future use.:BigThumb:

[350RRC]

Filed away for future use.:BigThumb:

Was on Antique Roadshow.

DL

[loanrangie]

Why was the lebanese man crazy, because he was hommous-cidal [bigrolf].

[Eevo]

I once knew a couple who were both Archeologists.


They recently separated.


Apparently they both wanted to date other people.

[Eevo]

I accidentally took my cats medication.
Don’t ask me - ow.

[Fifth Columnist]

GROAN!!!

[Eevo]

Last night my wife wore a police uniform to bed and said “ you are being charged with being good in bed “.
Ninety seconds later the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.

[DiscoMick]

A camper threw his backpack into his kayak and set off to paddle across a large lake to a campsite. Out in the middle the clouds closed in and it became icy cold. The shivering camper remembered he had a firelighting kit with heat beads in his backpack, so he lit a fire in his kayak. This was going well until the fire melted a hole in the bottom of the plastic kayak, which sank and he drowned.
This proves you can't have your kayak and heat it too!

[4bee]

Last night my wife wore a police uniform to bed and said “ you are being charged with being good in bed “.
Ninety seconds later the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.


You actually made it last 90 seconds? [biggrin]

[RANDLOVER]

Not so much of a joke, more of a funny thing that happened, the other day I was talking to a bloke and he was chatting away merrily, next thing his mobile rang, but the ring tone was the Darth Vader tune from Stars Wars, a look of doom descended over his face and he said "Oh no that's the wife".

[Eevo]

I received a phone call last night that a mate of mine had died after falling into a vat of coffee at work.


I asked if he suffered.


They replied, " no, it was instant".

[DiscoMick]

Student joke.

Q: Five fish were swimming in the ocean. How did the fourth one drown?
A: Fish can't drown.

[DiscoMick]

What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.

[DiscoMick]

What do call a train that carries bubble gum?
A chew chew train.

[Fifth Columnist]

Have you been the victim of faulty double glazing?

You could be entitled to condensation!

[4bee]

[bigsmile1]

I thought that would have been a given.[smilebigeye]

[Eevo]

I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work

[Eevo]

The furniture store keeps calling me to come back. But all I wanted was one night stand

[Eevo]

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case

[Eevo]

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind

[Eevo]

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu - you get what you deserve

[Eevo]

Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them

[Eevo]

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve

[Eevo]

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blown away by the leaf blower

[Eevo]

My dad brought home a feral tiger without telling my mom first; it's tearing our family apart

[Eevo]

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words

[Eevo]

I was going to be a mortician but they told me it was a dying trade

[Eevo]

What did the necromancer use to style his hair? A catacomb

[Eevo]

I'm addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop any time

[Eevo]

How did the picture end up in jail? It was framed

[Eevo]

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back for seconds

[Eevo]

I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now

[67hardtop]

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mindSo, that explains so much for me Eevo

[67hardtop]

I wanted to be a Doctor, but i didnt have the patients

[donh54]

I was going to start a procrastination society, but I couldn't be bothered.

[Eevo]

I was going to start a procrastination society, but I couldn't be bothered.

I'll do it tomorrow.

[alien]

I'll do it tomorrow.
Never put off to tomorrow that which could wait untill next week.

[Eevo]

I've started a campaign to raise funds to save exotic birds from extinction.


Tomorrow I'll be standing out the front of Woolworths rattling Toucans to help Macaws.

[Eevo]

Traffic police spotted an old woman driving along the freeway with knitting needles yesterday..
They shouted “pull over!”..


But apparently... It was a pair of socks...

[DiscoMick]

This is true. https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190617/87dbea170026c132103478e0ff5acd74.jpg

[LRJim]

This is true. https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20190617/87dbea170026c132103478e0ff5acd74.jpgSure about that [emoji23]
Mystery kangaroo in Austria still on the loose - BBC News (https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-45407767)

[DiscoMick]

Ha ha, thanks, I hadn't seen that. [smilebigeye]

[LRJim]

Ha ha, thanks, I hadn't seen that. [smilebigeye]Lol i immediately thought of kangaroos boxing against bears so I had to google it[emoji23]

[Eevo]

ever wonder how long it takes for a giraffe to throw up?

[V8Ian]

Sure about that [emoji23]
Mystery kangaroo in Austria still on the loose - BBC News (https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-45407767)
That looks more like a wallaby than a 'roo.

[LRJim]

That looks more like a wallaby than a 'roo.Thats what they reckon it may be

Bennett's tree-kangaroo - Wikipedia (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bennett's_tree-kangaroo)

[350RRC]

That looks more like a wallaby than a 'roo.

Backstraps taste pretty much the same.

DL

[spudfan]

Two lads are sitting in the canteen having their lunch. Two women are sitting near them having their lunch. Suddenly one of the women starts to choke on a piece of food. Her friend is doing her best to dislodge it but without success. One of the lads jumps up and runs over to lend assistance. He gets behind the women in distress yanks down her jeans and underwear the he licks one of the cheeks of her rear end. Suddenly she coughs and up comes the piece of food and she spits it out. Her friend then proceeds to help her to get dressed. Our hero returns to his table and says to his friend.
"I always knew that Hind Lick Manouver would come in handy some day".

[4bee]

That looks more like a wallaby than a 'roo.


Or goat, as a current V ad shows. [smilebigeye]

[Eevo]

I was charged with manslaughter after I attacked someone with a sheet of sandpaper.


I didn't mean to kill him, I just wanted to rough him up a bit.

[Eevo]

Last month one of my mates was shot over 200 times with an upholstery gun.


I'm happy to say he's now fully recovered.

[Eevo]

Are people born with photographic memories,


or do they take time to develop?

[Eevo]

Yesterday I spotted an albino Dalmatian.


I thought it was the least I could do for him.

[jx2mad]

Why did the chicken cross the road?
.
.
.
.
.
Because it was egged on!

[Saulman1010]

Are people born with photographic memories,


or do they take time to develop?I've got a photographic memory, just no film.[emoji850]

[DiscoMick]

Which building has the most stories?
The library.

[Fifth Columnist]

About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went down hill fast.

[Eevo]

I went to the liquor store yesterday on my motorcycle, bought a bottle of whisky and put it in my backpack. As i was about to leave, i thought to myself that if i fell off the motorcycle, the bottle would break so i drank all the whisky before i rode home. Finally it turned out to be a good decision because i fell off my motorcycle 7 times on the way home. Imagine what would've happened to the bottle

[Eevo]

My wife told me to put tomato sauce on the shopping list.


Can't read a bloody word of it now.

[Eevo]

My mother in law bought a talking parrot, but she took it back to the store a week later.


"This parrot hasn't said a word", she complained.


"I haven't had a ****ing chance yet", replied the parrot.

[Eevo]

My son told me he got a part in the new school play.


He said he's playing a man who's been married for 25 years.


I said, "oh well, next time you might get a speaking part."

[Homestar]

I think I might have laughed a little too hard at that one... 😇

[Fifth Columnist]

I think I might have laughed a little too hard at that one... 😇
Need a clean pair?

[Homestar]

Need a clean pair?

No, not wearing any... 😉

[DiscoMick]

No, not wearing any... [emoji6]Far too much information. [emoji15]

[67hardtop]

No, not wearing any... [emoji6]EEWWWWWWWWWWA thats WRONG[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

[Eevo]

i dont believe you. proof is required.

[4bee]

My son told me he got a part in the new school play.


He said he's playing a man who's been married for 25 years.


I said, "oh well, next time you might get a speaking part."


[smilebigeye][smilebigeye]

Yeah, it is not as though we don't offer good advice & excellent criticisms .

[Homestar]

i dont believe you. proof is required.

You don’t want to go there... 😉

[Eevo]

I've been given 3 days off work after dropping a box of Kleenex on my foot.


Doctor says it's a soft tissue injury.

[bblaze]

I've been given 3 days off work after dropping a box of Kleenex on my foot.


Doctor says it's a soft tissue injury.

they getting worse eevo [bigsmile]
cheers
blaze

[DeeJay]

they getting worse eevo [bigsmile]
cheers
blaze

How can that be ??

[DiscoMick]

Minding grandchildren is full on. They've only been here an hour and already I'm tired. I do get to hear some jokes though. Grandchild joke:
Q: Which tree can be carried in your hand?
A: A palm tree!

[Eevo]

every year there is a race from one side of Sweden to the other side of Sweden.

they start at the Norwegian line and end up at the Finnish line.

[laney]

[bigsmile]

[Fifth Columnist]

Man comes into his brothers house all upset his brother says whats wrong granpa got really badly burnt other brother said how first brother said they don't stuff around at the crematorium.
A few commas, full stops and capitals might make that understandable...

[Homestar]

I feel like a School Teacher.


Man comes into his brothers house all upset. His brother says “What‘s wrong?”

“Grandpa got really badly burned”

Other brother said “How?”

First brother said “They don’t stuff around at the Crematorium.”

[DiscoMick]

You forgot to put commas after 'said' and 'says' to indicate pauses.

[vnx205]

So do I. :)


https://www.aulro.com/afvb/images/misc/quote_icon.png Originally Posted by laney https://www.aulro.com/afvb/images/buttons/viewpost-right.png (https://www.aulro.com/afvb/general-chat/29343-jokes-post2920971.html#post2920971)
Man comes into his brother's house all upset. His brother says, “What‘s wrong?”

“Grandpa got really badly burned.”

Other brother said, “How?”

First brother said, “They don’t stuff around at the Crematorium.”

[Eevo]

A few commas, full stops and capitals might make that understandable...

forgive him, he's from queensland.

[Eevo]

wouldn't it be burnt, not burned?

[Homestar]

I didn’t say I was a teacher... 😉

[alien]

I feel like a School Teacher.
There is a dating App you can use to find one.

[V8Ian]

There is a dating App you can use to find one.
Uber Eats?

[Saitch]

forgive him, he's from Queensland.

May as well be pernickety.

[DiscoMick]

wouldn't it be burnt, not burned?Burned is the past tense verb of burn, but burnt is an adjective to describe, e.g. burnt toast.

I'm not a teacher either, I'm a trainer. Trainers deal in reality while teachers theorise.

[Fifth Columnist]

Oh dear, what have I started?

[carjunkieanon]

Eye see what your doing their!

[4bee]

I feel like a School Teacher.

As they say, "Where would you get one at this time of night?" [smilebigeye]

[NavyDiver]

forgive him, he's from queensland.

But will the Queenslanders forgive you for a little 'q' Eevo [biggrin]

[jonesfam]

SWMBO & I were discussing life.
I told her she had to embrace her mistakes.

She gave me a cuddle?

[DiscoMick]

Could be worse. She didn't decide to start again.

[Eevo]

had to go to the emergency room today. just an fyi for everyone. the "dyson ball cleaner" has a very misleading name.

[4bee]

:Rolling::Rolling::Rolling::Rolling:

Dyson is deffo a confusing name to be sure.[smilebigeye]

[NavyDiver]

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

-- Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, “Honey you were right… all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.” “What do you mean?” asked his wife. “Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in

[Eevo]

I just saw a man slumped over his lawn mower, crying his eyes out. So I walked over and asked him if he was ok. He said he had just gone through a rough patch.

[4bee]

It was probably Dog crap, that is enough to make a grown man cry.[biggrin]

[67hardtop]

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

-- Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, “Honey you were right… all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.” “What do you mean?” asked his wife. “Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in


[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23][emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

[Eevo]

The RSPCA recently found over 2000 dead crows on East coast hwys recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the ...bird's beaks and claws. By analysing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with Trucks, while only 2% were killed by cars.
The RSPCA then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills. The Ornithological Behaviourist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck"

[V8Ian]

The RSPCA recently found over 2000 dead crows on East coast hwys recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the ...bird's beaks and claws. By analysing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with Trucks, while only 2% were killed by cars.
The RSPCA then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills. The Ornithological Behaviourist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck"
That was funny the first time it was posted in this thread.

[Eevo]

That was funny the first time it was posted in this thread.


feel free to delete it then.

[TrakTorNator]

I was thinking what should I name my bout. Do you think "The CodFather" is good?

[V8Ian]

I was thinking what should I name my bout. Do you think "The CodFather" is good?
Do you catch any?

[TrakTorNator]

Not as much as I would want to. [bigsad]

[V8Ian]

Where do you try, North Sea, Baltic Sea or rivers?

[donh54]

Where do you try, North Sea, Baltic Sea or rivers?

Not the rivers - apparently they've all dried up, and the fish are all dead! Just ask your local Greenies.

[V8Ian]

Not the rivers - apparently they've all dried up, and the fish are all dead! Just ask your local Greenies.
In Northern Europe?

[TrakTorNator]

My last fishing trip was at the Bavaria Danube Area. A wide variety of homegrown river fish there.

[p38arover]

I was thinking what should I name my boat. Do you think "The CodFather" is good?

Knowing how I sometimes feel on a boat, I've always thought "NauSea" was a good name. [bigwhistle]

[Eevo]

My internet was pretty bad out at my farm, until I moved the modem into the barn.


I now have stable wifi.